It’s Just a Test

I heard a voice say, “Hands up! This is a stick up.” I remember hyperventilating and thinking to myself this is it, this is the moment. This is my fate.

“Well look at this, daddy’s little girl caught walking in the dark all alone. No form of protection?! Where is your armour little girl?” Chills ran down my spine as he moves closer to me. He chuckles and signals for his gangsters to come from out of their hiding places.

I can’t breathe and I’m on the verge of fainting. I hear their snickering, and their sinister whispers. “Where is your armour little girl? Where is your ‘Father’ ? Why are you all alone? ” I am mute. I am paralyzed as they draw closer to me.

“Do you know who we are? We are the ones who come to kill, steal, and destroy. Do you recall? We are the ones your ‘Father’ warned you about. It’s so sad that your ‘Father’ isn’t here to save you.”

I remember trying to pray, but my mind had been hijacked. “Everything seemed so well. I basked in my Fathers light, I felt the tremors on the ground beneath me as He spoke, I felt His presence wrap around me. Where did I go? Did I travel off course, did I take a wrong turn?” The doubt, the fear, the confusion these were feelings were not that of my Fathers.

“This is what we do. Just when you think all is well we rob you and trade your joy for misery, turn your day into night, strip you of your very existence.” 

I became faint and weak. They suffocated me with every step they took towards me. It was then I noticed the weapons they were carrying. Darts engulfed in flames, chains and whips, clubs and spears.

Pow! I am struck with a whip. A blow to the head with a club. The next thing I knew I was being ambushed. There was no room for me to breathe. I had no way of escape.

“You thought because you are a child of the most high God we wouldn’t come for you? Where is your armour little girl? Where is your faith? Where is your joy? Where is your Father?”

My faith? Wait my faith! Finally I could break through the beating of my spirit and the constant lies replayed in my mind. There, there is the light within me.

“Ha! A little light I see.” With a fierce force they attempted to snatch my light from me.

“Give me that light you bastard, give it to us you whore, give it to us you incompetent bitch! Come on dumbass give it before I break your skull. Come on Erin give it or I’ll kill you! ” 

The beating became senseless and I was knocked unconscious, but I can still feel the harsh blows and hear the fasle accusations made against me.

“You’re worthless! The dad your Father granted unto you didn’t want you. I dressed Ishmael to look as your Boaz to steal your youth. I elbowed you out of that job because you were desperate for a ‘change’. I threw you into debt. I distorted your body with stress so you ate and ate. You’re no temple you are filthy. You are blasphemous!”

Unable to move or to speak I absorbed every lie the devil and his goons accused me of.

That light, that light I still held onto it. I couldn’t let it go because I couldn’t. My Father wouldn’t let me.

Then there came a light. A light greater than mines. “Father is that you?” With a pep in my voice and joy that filled my heart I proclaimed “I knew it Father, I knew you’d never leave me.  I have been beaten senselessly, but I’m okay!”

And my Father says, “I know you are. I understand you don’t understand my plans, but I am with you. You know the truth. I have called you and I have redeemed you. Satan is a LIE and the father thereof.”

I felt the tears swelling in my eyes. With blood gushing from my mouth,  and the shaking of my spirit as I pull myself up, I proclaimed to my Father, “I know Father I know you love me and you will never do anything to harm me. You know the plans you have for me. Everything works out for my good.”

And with joy in His voice He says, “Yes my child that is the truth. Even when you can’t see your way and are surrounded by hell I am with you and nothing by any means will separate you from My love. Now arise and go! You may be ambushed and tried on every side down the road, but keep your faith, wear your armour and trust Me.”


There are times in life when we feel God is nowhere to be found, but He is! That spark of hope when all is lost is God. That hint of encouragement when the devil reminds you of who you once were is God. Put on the armour of God and prepare for the battle.

Remember that everything we go through is just a TEST. Pass it.


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