Be Still

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God are you there because I am stuck at the intersection of ‘make a U-turn, keep straight, turn right and turn left’ and honestly I’m extremely confused and lost. Can I get some help here? Hello? Hellloo! I know this call didn’t drop. Op, it did. Ugh!

That’s my line of communication with God from time to time. It goes from I can hear you, to can you hear me now, to dead silence. This is not the time or place Lord! I am literally sitting at this intersection in my life that will determine if I’ll sink or swim, live or die, receive my promise or lose it all. I cannot afford to move without You. Hello, can you hear me up there?

His silence at times leaves me playing with the fateful idea of making a hasty decision.

There other times I ponder the thought that maybe, just maybe God is waiting on me to make the move. But every time I attempt to put my foot on the gas I am too afraid to turn the steering wheel on my own.

I don’t want to play a game of Russian roulette by driving down each road to figure out which one is a go. And no I don’t want to make any outbound calls to–the know it alls and “guesstimators”( best word that comes to mind lol)–because they’ll likely to tell me to “follow my heart” or tell me to go with the first direction that comes to mind. Don’t get me wrong there are some who encourage me to pray, but even with that I want to reduce as much noise as possible.

So what do I do?

Like any desperate and mortified traveler who has absolutely no freaking clue where they are, losing service or being hung up on is not okay. So keeping in touch with the travel guide is extremely important as I would like to travel down the correct path and arrive to my destination on time.

There’s no doubt in my mind that God’s with me, but it doesn’t take away the fact that I –at times– feel abandoned, frustrated, and dazed. Sitting in one position for a while leaves me anxious and in need of answers. As a result I find myself praying a little louder and a lot longer. I figure if He isn’t going to speak to me I’ll trouble Him until He answers my question, “I am stuck at this intersection in my life and I’m not sure which direction to go. Which way?”

You may be asking well does it work? Yes my constant poking, praying, crying, and fussing works!

He hears me from His throne and answers my prayers, but before I hear what He has to say I’m already predicting His response.

He will now lead me in the direction I should go. No more waiting, no more delays, but today is the day I will be unstuck. Today I will receive the answers to my prayers. Destiny here I come!

But as I said I can get a little ahead of myself.

“Be still”. Not what I want to hear a lot of the time, but this is His response for the most part. Yep hold on, not yet, wait here, it’s not time.

Ugh fine. But are you sure Lord?

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Sometimes I believe that God is mistaken, but He knows what He’s doing and there’s nothing I want to do about that (a hard head is a result of hard lessons I would know). But of course I’m always wrestling with His answer, “Be still”. Though I get antsy, frustrated, and anxious I refuse to move without clarity and His direction.

So as I am still waiting on the answer as to which way to go and when to move—which I’ll share this major decision in a later post–I have learned a few things about God. #1 He’s always listening and speaking even when He’s silent. #2 He’s constantly working on my behalf even when I feel His timing and plans aren’t Erin friendly. And #3 He is so patient, loving, and kind enough to put up with me despite my lack of patience and understanding.

As challenging as it is to be still I wouldn’t want to make a move that could jeopardize everything God has predestined for me to receive. So remaining still I will be.

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Have You Forgiven You?

Forgiveness, it’s a melody that’s been prancing around me and a tune I’ve been humming for the past week. The song goes a little something like this:

“Show me how to love the unlovable
Show me how to reach the unreachable
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness, forgiveness
Help me now to do the impossible
Forgiveness” – Matt West

I won’t lie the first thoughts that came to my mind were those who have offended me and how difficult it is to forgive them. I couldn’t help but to also think how rare it is to come across someone who desperately wants to forgive those who have wronged them.

Honestly how bold is Matt West’s request!? He’s literally demanding God to provide him the opportunity to love the unlovable, the unreachable, to do the impossible and forgive! Matt did what a lot of us seem to struggle with and that’s letting go of a grudge, starving resentment, and moving forward in forgiving those who’ve offended us. 

How many of you have that same fire as Matt? Are you just as hungry to push past unforgiveness and move forward in extending a peace-offering to your offender(s)?

Let’s take this up a notch in not focusing on what’s been done, said to or about you, but to ask you who are you extending forgiveness to. Is it a friend, a family member, or  yourself? Did you catch that? I’ll say it again, HAVE YOU FORGIVEN YOU?!

We are all guilty of offending someone by something we’ve said or done directly or indirectly and have received forgiveness–I hope. What many of us fail to realize is that forgiveness is not only extended to those who have offended you and I, but it is also available for you and I to extend to ourselves.

There are so many people who feel that they should walk in shame and regret even after they’ve been forgiven. Trust me I would know.

I felt like one of those unreachable, unlovable people who could not be redeemed from my misdeeds. “I can’t believe I said that. What was I thinking? If I were them I wouldn’t forgive me.” Time after time I found myself in a tug of war with condemnation.

It baffled me that even after being forgiven I still felt guilty. One of the reasons was because I hadn’t taken the time to ask myself for forgiveness. Isn’t that something, forgiving ourselves is rarely thought of and possibly one of the most difficult things to do?

Going without forgiving ourselves–to me at least–is like holding a grudge. It’s like saying we’ve received forgiveness from those we’ve offended, but there is nothing that can break the guilt and shame we may still be experiencing. There is nothing else that can be said or done. However, there is something just as powerful.

I believe that when we release ourselves from our hiccups, stumbles, and falls, forgiving ourselves is just as powerful as receiving it from someone else.

“It’ll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it’s power can do
So, let it go and be amazed
By what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner that it really frees is you” – Matt West

Can we look at Philippians 3:13 really quick? Paul states, “Brothers and sisters I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” This verse can be viewed in a number of ways. My understanding is that not one of us is perfect, but we must come to terms with our deeds, let go, and forgive that of which that has been done in the past.

Lastly, it says to me let us move forward in doing and being better to those around us –and of equal importance, to ourselves.

No matter what you’ve done forgive yourself. They’ve forgiven you now it’s your turn.

Love your friend,

Erin ♡♡♡

What’s Your 10 Empowering Affirmations?

Hello lovely people! I know it’s been awhile, BUT here I am and I’m here with a challenge that was presented to me.

I challenge you to create 10 empowering affirmations. Yes! Empowering, cloud 9, can’t come down messages about/to yourself!

Too often we fill ourselves with doubts and lies about who we aren’t and who we will never become. It’s time to cut that out.

Creating my list took me a few days, but after digging deep within myself, and really thinking about the facts regarding who I AM I feel like I hit the jackpot.

So join me on the path to self discovery by commenting down below your 10 empowering affirmations.

*Challenge credited to Ashley Empowers’s Mani-fest Your Godly Man Boot camp

If you guys haven’t heard of Ashley Brown, founder of Covenant Coaching and Dating with Purpose, check her out. Her ministry will give you LIFE, no lie.

Any who can’t wait to hear your 10 empowering affirmations.

Until then nighty night! ♡♡♡

Filter On Through

 

high-grassLife can be sweet sometimes and at other times not so much (I guess we can call it the “sour patch affect”).

Life says what it wants, does what it wants when it wants, and it has no respect of persons.

It at times puts us in some uncomfortable, unpredictable, uncalled for situations that we never asked to be in in the first place.

It doesn’t provide us with a owners guide on how to deal with the cards it hands us and we are left to figure it out.

It dumps, and dumps, and dumps overloading our senses and clouding our judgement. At that point we are forced to take a closer look at what’s in front of us.

And in the midst of making the best with what life serves us, sometimes it’s hard to see the good in all things as it can be a needle in a haystack.

No life has no way of filtering itself, but we have the power to filter through the situations and circumstances we find ourselves in.

Find the good in it all.

Filter on through even when life makes it almost impossible to do.

-Erin

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